I just had this thought: “If there aren’t an equal number of people saying bad things about you as there are saying good things, you’re not being entirely authentic.”
I may have the proportions wrong. But this got me thinking.
You can never please everyone. It’s taken me a long time to grasp this.
And here’s something that I’ve found extremely liberating: I know that there are people who don’t think highly of me. That’s fine. You know why? Because I don’t think highly of them either. The ones that come to mind are, in fact, terrible people.
Petty. Ruled by their ego. Materialistic. Disingenuous. Liars. Dull.
Really REALLY boring, in fact. To me. Not to others – and that’s good, too. We all deserve our champions. We all deserve someone in our lives who thinks we’re the bees’ knees – preferably multiple people. Everyone deserves loyalty.
But I don’t give a fuck what the other people think. Because at the end of the day … EVERY day … the people I admire most also admire me.
I want to make it clear, I’m not being snotty. This is not sour grapes. This is real. This is important. It’s a revelation to me, after 37 years of trying to please everyone.
I can’t. I won’t. And that’s okay. Because when I look at my life and my sphere of influence, this is what happens in my brain:
– I know (and love) who I am.
– I know (and love) that I can and want to always improve.
– I know (and love) a lot of wonderful people who …
– know (and love) me.
– I know (and love) that I can’t please everyone.
– And I know (and love) that I can stop trying.
– I know (and love) that some people won’t like me. Often because of the things I (and others) love about me.
You can’t go through life telling people to fuck off. That’s not nice or productive or maybe even sane, really. But you can recognize what matters … WHO matters … to you personally. THAT is your real “sphere of influence.”
I am a favorite of my favorite people.
That might be my new life motto: “Always be a favorite of your favorite people.”