Here’s a secret. I despise social media.
I see its benefits. There are parts of it I like very much. The ease with which I can connect with people who aren’t nearby is hugely alluring.
And it’s my job so I can’t really get away.
But I just deactivated most of my personal accounts for an indefinite amount of time. Twitter only gives me 30 days to reactivate, but I’m assuming that – should I choose – I can simply log back in and deactivate it again for 30 days at a time. Or just decide to can the whole thing. Which is likely. I’ve gone without cable for a decade and home internet for more than a year. You can get used to anything.
I don’t like who I am online. And I rarely like who other people are online. I don’t want an easy, near-anonymous outlet for my emotions anymore. I’m an idiot online. A showoff. Needy and often unkind. I don’t like it. And I’m afraid it’s an attitude that is seeping ever so slightly into my offline reality.
So, I’m scrapping social media and spending that time being someone I do like. Someone who reads and writes a lot and works hard and thinks more than she speaks and walks to work instead of driving and takes care of things and is nice to people. Someone who would never tell another human being (no matter how awful they may be), “Good luck being stupid.”
Someone who doesn’t air her dirty laundry (though vaguely) for all the world to read.
Hard when you write a blog, because I want the blog to be authentic. But the blog is different. Possibly because only three people read it. They’re already right next to the hamper anyway. This metaphor isn’t working for me.
I’m tired, I’m sad, I’m angry and I’m hugely disappointed in myself. I think a social media presence will only continue to exacerbate that. Plus it wastes a lot of time I could spend on something productive.
My solution to overwhelm is almost always to jettison. We don’t need a lot of things in our lives to be happy.
Oh, speaking of happy. One of my two most favorite people in the world sent me this today. It’s comforting.